TGIM: Crystal Clear

Welcome back to Thank God It’s Monday! Today I wanted to try a slightly different format to use a tool I learned from the audiobook I’m listening to about writing for busy readers (you guys!). There is an abbreviation in social media “tl;dr” for my Gen X and boomers, that stands for too long, didn’t read. It is used for longer-form content when someone doesn’t want to take a lot of time to read it all so they have a tl;dr for the gist of the message. Hopefully, for those of you who like TGIM but don’t always make time to read the whole thing, tl;dr will give you an idea of what the topic is so you can decide whether to set aside more time to read later or if the short and sweet is sufficient for you.

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tl;dr If you are feeling anxiety in your life, you are lacking clarity. Anxiety around money means you are lacking clarity in your budget. Anxiety around your job means lacking clarity in your responsibilities and goals. If you want to decrease your anxiety, find clarification in what your plans are and how you are going to execute them. This will provide you with a clear path forward and help you to feel more in control.​
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Anxiety can be a sensation of overwhelm that can manifest both physically and emotionally. It can lead to a delay in reaching your goals because the task at hand can feel too big, you might not know where to start, and you may not even be clear on where you’re going.
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Anxiety comes in different shapes and sizes for people. It may look like not signing up for the gym because you’re nervous to look silly. People may pick their fingernails, scratch their heads, or tap without consciously realizing it because it creates a tactile sensation to mollify the anxious feeling.
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It arises because there is a degree of the unknown. Consider when the opposite is true, like when you’re feeling confident in an area in your life. You feel excitement, joy, or even a sense of peace because you are familiar with what you’re doing. When you enter into a space you’ve been before, you can perform with a sense of pride and trust in yourself. You’re clear on the goal and know how to get there.

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On the other hand, when you enter unfamiliar territory, anxiety can arise. You’re not sure how to problem-solve and you may not have a clear picture of what “success” looks like. When your boss gives you a new project to work on without laying out exactly what his or her expectations are, anxiety can arise because you’re not sure where you’re heading or really how to get there. Similarly, everyday skills like budgeting, exercising, or doing your taxes can spur a sense of anxiety because you haven’t done them before and you may not know what “good budgeting/exercising/taxes” looks like.
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Humans like what is familiar because it is safe. The unfamiliar of course does not feel safe because evolutionarily what was not familiar could pose a threat to our lives. Now when we are unfamiliar with a new task it can feel like it creates as much stress as if our lives are in danger even if we logically know we will be okay.
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For example, people get anxious about money because it’s unfamiliar territory for most people. No money skills are taught when we’re in elementary school or high school, and for people like me who took one accounting class and walked right to the tutoring office after the first test, well we didn’t get much from formal education. Then people go on to graduate and unless we go on to teach ourselves about saving, budgeting, Roth IRAs, and mutual funds, we start making salaries with no game plan on how to utilize it.
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So no wonder people are anxious when they want to go on vacation or buy something but they’re not sure if they have money in an emergency fund or for rent. But the anxiety stems from the unfamiliar, from a lack of clarity.
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In order to mollify anxiety in most areas of our lives, we can commit to learning more and getting really clear on what our goals are. By painting a picture of what success looks like (maybe being able to spend money on going out to dinner without stressing if we have money for early retirement) we can better formulate a plan to get there. But we can’t build a good plan without having a clear destination.
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Humans tend towards what is familiar. So it makes sense we get anxious when dealing with new information. But if we can learn how to clarify exactly where we want to be we can set up a roadmap to get us to the goal.

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This doesn’t mean working towards a new goal will be easy by any means. But hard work can be enjoyable when we go it will get us to where we want to go. If you want to retire early (for my Millenials and even Gen Z) or even go on a nice vacation without stressing about being able to afford gas and rent, then learning how to budget can quell the anxiety around money. And this goes for any of our goals. Learning how to get clear on our goals can help us clarify the steps we need to take to get there. And while the road may not be easy, at least we can tackle it with less anxiety and more confidence.
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If you found some value in this, please share it with a friend you think would enjoy it! And let me know if you’d like to be added to get TGIM. Or visit https://walshwellness.weebly.com/ for older editions and if you’d like to subscribe.

This week my podcast recommendation is from Paul Levitin’s Change Made Easy, “‘Your Life is Too Short to Not Win’ with Scott White.” Paul revamped his podcast formerly known as Happy, Healthy Human and he rolled out the new packaging with this episode which will surely help you get unstuck in the area of your life you need it most.
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With that, let me know what area of your life you are going to get clear on to help you face some anxiety you might be having. It might be exercising, building relationships, or maybe you need to start budgeting yourself. Happy Purim and Easter to those celebrating this week and for those observing Ramadan I hope your fast is clarifying (and not too challenging!).
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Until next time,

Shannon