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Welcome back to Thank God It’s Monday! Recently I’ve been on a kick trying to verbalize why it’s worth working hard. This is important both for my work as a coach and for general human understanding in order to live a happy life. Unfortunately, I was never good at proofs in geometry (in math when you rationalize A=B, B=C, so A=C), and this feels just as challenging to verbalize. So let’s see if we can add some clarity to the topic. People say (and I am one of these people) that hard work is worthwhile because you feel good when you have completed the work. For example, feeling good after a workout, going to bed after a day of eating primarily whole foods, finishing a challenging project at work, etc… They don’t necessarily feel great in the moment, but they do feel good when they’re done. Knowing that these things feel good though is not enough to get us to do them (obviously we don’t always get our workouts in or all of our vegetables, and we procrastinate the hell out of difficult projects). But we do other things that we know will feel good much more readily such as checking notifications on our phones, watching a favorite TV show, and eating a delicious donut. There’s some common sense that we want to do the thing that feels good now more than the things that feel good later. Now is always better than later in our animal brains. But then later comes and we don’t feel good when we eat the donut or skip the workout, and we come to the place we’ve familiarized ourselves with, sacrificing our long-term fulfillment for short-term pleasure. And all we can think is not again! So how do some people get so good at skipping the donut and making it to the gym? Why are some people able to go home after a full day of work and still pursue a side hustle, meal prep for their next lunch, meditate, and get a full night of sleep? Those people have made it to the other side. A majority of people float around life content with being mediocre, complaining about the mundane tasks of life. Then there is a subset of people who are crushing it each day, usually optimistic about opportunities, and probably working their asses off (maybe at work but almost assuredly) in their personal lives. This subset of people is getting their workouts in most days, eating their fruits and veggies but not skipping their favorite dessert, and not shying away from an extra project that will help them improve their skillset. They are getting the most out of life. What differentiates these people who are able to do the more challenging things now versus those who take the path of least resistance? First and foremost, it’s not because they have more willpower, let’s get that right off the table. Willpower is a finite resource for everybody. Even the most successful people have a limited amount of willpower that gets depleted throughout the day. It’s also not because they love exercising every day or don’t think donuts taste as good. Working out every day is a challenge for anyone because it requires scheduling time in the day that could be used elsewhere. But these people have reached the “other side” where despite these challenges, they do the hard thing. The “other side” is where you’ve realized and truly experienced the deep fulfillment that comes with hard work. As adults, we are not necessarily challenged to do hard things (outside of work maybe) unless we put ourselves in the situations to do so. And as we asked in the beginning, why the heck should we do hard things when there are so many options to do the easy, feel-good, short-term thing? The hard work is worth it if you want greater value out of life. Compare it to a meal. You throw a peanut butter and jelly sandwich together and it’ll do, nothing wrong with that, but in the end, it was a low effort, low pay-off. On the other hand, if you go to a nice restaurant for some homemade pasta, slow-cooked meat, or locally grown produce, you taste the difference. More effort went into the meal and your enjoyment will hopefully be much greater than your PB&J. The same with life. A lot of people are okay with PB&J’s every day. Low effort, low yield. And nothing wrong with PB&J, but I’m just not about coasting through life like that. If you’re cooking that fancy meal that requires slow cooking for eight hours and letting the seasoning sit overnight, you’re probably not jumping for joy going through the whole process. But you do it because you know at the end that meal it is going to be amazing. And the more you cook meals like that one, the more you learn to enjoy the process because you fine-tune your craft and know the more you pay attention to the details now the better your meal will taste later. Over time you start appreciating each step. Life is similar. When you’ve experienced that feeling over and over again of enjoying that fancy meal, you value the process of cooking that meal because that’s what gets you your results. Some steps are more enjoyable, some probably still aren’t your favorite, but in the end, you know it’s worthwhile. Similarly, when you’ve worked out enough times you know that there will be some great workouts and some mediocre ones, but you do it because it’s worth the feeling at the end (and you may start enjoying it more because you can finetune your craft along the way). Getting started is hard and staying with the process is even harder. It’s hard to convince yourself the hard work will feel good at some point, but if you want greater value you have to be willing to put in greater effort. And maybe it’s just a bit easier if you remind yourself you will get to that “other side” if you keep working at it. The other side is not necessarily “21 days to form a habit” when everything is sunshine and rainbows. On the contrary, you get to the other side and the problems get more challenging. But you’ve put in the hard work so many times that you understand the payoff for the work you put in, so you no longer mind putting in the work as much. People on the other side are really good at delaying their gratification (a topic for another day) because they know, like a bank account, the more they invest the greater the value. They’ve proven to themselves time and time again that the feeling of grittiness now will feel profoundly fulfilling later, so they don’t mind it. I’d like to think I’m somewhat on the other side, I have a pretty strong “muscle” as I like to refer to it with my clients to delay gratification. But I’m not perfect by any means and take the path of least resistance even though I know I won’t be happy with my decision later. But the feeling on that other side if more pleasurable than any social media post or cupcake could ever be, Being around people who are muscling through that mediocre workout when they don’t want to or creating a side hustle is so inspiring. They are squeezing every ounce of life and inspire you to do the same. They talk about ideas instead of people. They look at how many things there are to be grateful for in life instead of complaining about a reality that we cannot change. They are always looking for ways to get more opportunities out of the world instead of constantly escaping it through dopamine hits. Listening to podcasts, reading books, and finding courses created by these types of people helps create an atmosphere that drives you to work hard. It’s easy to get caught up in everyone else’s mediocrity, so it’s important to structure your environment to drive you to success (and success comes from hard work). Hard work isn’t for everyone, and it might not be for you (although I know the team here at TGIM is mostly those looking to get the most out of life). And that’s okay. But you can’t complain about not getting a bigger payoff if you’re not willing to put in the bigger workload. So if you’re beginning with the end in mind, the goal is hopefully to be on our deathbeds (many, many years from now) knowing we did absolutely everything we could to utilize our potential and not leave any untapped. But we won’t be able to do that by living off of our theoretical PB&Js. If you found some value in this, please share it with a friend you think would enjoy it! And let me know if you’d like to be added to get TGIM. Or visit https://walshwellness.weebly.com/ for older editions and if you’d like to subscribe.
This week my podcast recommendation is from Duncan Trussell Family Hour “Pete Holmes” (the 2016 episode). This episode is a little more out there than my tyical ones but I think it’s good to expand the mind and challenge the way we look at the world, so check this one out. Go do something hard this week and let me know what it is. It’s worth the challenge if you’re looking to get more out of life. Until next time, Shannon |
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