TGIM: Monday Machinery

Welcome back to Thank God It’s Monday! How lucky are we in the northeast to finally see some signs of spring today! That groundhog just might have been right. Over the weekend I heard a wonderful piece of wisdom from a client that I thought was perfect for a TGIM.

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The piece of advice was from the client’s husband and he said he no longer wants to make space in his life for those who act as a “vacuum” and instead only wants to make space for those who are more like “batteries.”
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I love it!
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Fewer vacuums in our lives and more batteries.
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So for those of you not immediately inspired by the genius of these household metaphors, let’s dive in a little.
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Vacuums are the people that suck the life out of you (ha, get it?). You leave the interaction feeling drained and exhausted. It’s often a person whose stories and life updates are filled with complaints, lacking any new ideas or anything to be thankful for. When you ask them how they are doing it’s always followed with a sigh or a sarcastic “living the dream.” After an interaction with a vacuum of a person, you feel bereft of life and joy.
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Sometimes we can limit our interactions with these vacuum people and other times we have less control over the situation. For example, you may have a family member who is a vacuum but you feel obligated to spend time with them because, well, they’re family. Or maybe you have a coworker or a boss that you inevitably have to spend your days with but they never have anything positive to say.
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Well, you have a few options here. In terms of family, you can work on setting boundaries and work on being honest. Limit the time you spend with them one-on-one unless they’re willing to make changes. Or try to limit the time with them to larger group settings if you can so you don’t have to be the sole recipient of the energy suck. For coworkers, one tool I use with a vacuum at my job is simply not asking how he’s doing. I’ve learned that the answer is always incredibly painful so instead of asking how he is I just keep the conversation to work or make a positive comment about something at work that day. Limiting the open-ended questions decreases the opportunities for complaining.
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The concept of vacuums is evident in people but I think what’s an even more powerful application is to how we spend our time. Specifically about how we spend our time on weekdays after work before we go to bed.
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Let’s take a stereotypical example of someone who gets home around 5:30 pm and goes to bed around 10:30 pm. These are the classic hours that fall victim to the “I don’t have time” or “I don’t have energy” for things like exercise, meal prep, learning a new skill, etc. But what are we really doing with those hours?
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Those hours can be filled with vacuum activities that also make us feel drained such as scrolling on social media, watching TV for hours, and sneaking back to the kitchen for late-night snacks. All of these leave us going to bed feeling like life was sucked out of us (ie vacuum activities).
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Instead, as this piece of wisdom suggested, we should seek to fill our lives with “batteries.” Batteries refer to people and activities that leave us feeling rejuvenated.
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You know those people that you spend time with and you leave the interaction feeling absolutely ready to conquer the world? Or those people who inspire you to constantly grow and do better but in a supportive a reassuring way? Yeah, those people.

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Wanting to fill our lives surrounded with more of these people is a win-win-win. We win because we are inspired and ready to do more with our lives. The other person wins because hopefully, they feel the same. And the third win is the general improvement the world benefits from because the individuals are all contributing to it in a positive way.

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Similarly, we should seek to fill our time with activities that act as “batteries.” For example, I went on a walk today since the sun was out and we had the first glimpse of spring. The energy I gathered from that activity versus how I felt after going on social media for the same duration of time yesterday is night and day. The walk made me feel ready to tackle the rest of my work. The phone made me feel the craving to continue to remain distracted.

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Back to our after-work hours example from earlier, finding activities that act as batteries between 5:30 pm and 10:30 pm helps give our lives more purpose and joy. Instead of feeling the need to distract ourselves after work, we can find ways to spend our time that leave us finishing the day feeling fulfilled. And that might look a little bit differently to everyone. But the goal is to find the people and activities that make our lives feel rejuvenated and not depleted.

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So be on the lookout this week for what aspects of your life act as vacuums and what act as batteries. They may present as people, places, or things. But let’s make an effort to decrease the amount of vacuums sucking the life out of us and increase the number of batteries that make us feel alive.

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If you found some value in this, please share it with a friend you think would enjoy it! And let me know if you’d like to be added to get TGIM. Or visit https://walshwellness.weebly.com/ for older editions and if you’d like to subscribe.

This week my podcast recommendation is from Motivation with Brendan Burchard, “How to Unleash Energy Through Mindful Living.” I think this episode highlights an important concept; that we cannot hope to obtain more energy through relaxation alone, but to mindfully make an effort to engage more (and find more batteries in our lives).
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With that, let me know what comes to mind as the batteries and vacuums in your lives.
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Until next time,

Shannon