TGIM: Thoughts For 30

Welcome back to Thank God It’s Monday!

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tl;dr How much do you believe you have control over the events in your life? Your belief in your control over your life is correlated with your health, career, and resilience. The good news is that you can alter your locus of control if it is not the leverage in your life that you want it to be.
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Today, I was fortunate enough to celebrate my 30th birthday. It’s a strange sensation turning over a decade, not that I have a tremendous amount of experience. But as with all pivotal times, like New Year’s and anniversaries, it makes you reflect.

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I don’t have much experience reflecting on entire decades, considering when I turned 20, I reflected on lots of school and organized sports. But it is so overwhelming to think about how much has changed over the last 10 years. The places, people, and experiences have shaped my perspective of the world and guided my efforts (and future efforts).

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As I’m sure people will do with every decade, people joke about how things start to go downhill. The lower back pain worsens, you’re always tired, and you get excited about the boring things. But with my less than 24 hours of experience, I am going into this decade with the confidence that age is just a number, and life will continue to evolve in beautiful ways.
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What distinguishes me from the person who thinks that 30 is the beginning of the end? It may be some genetic predisposition, a glass-half-full perspective. But the primary distinction is my locus of control.
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I believe I have a great deal of control over the events that happen in my life. Even when something extraordinary happens, I am responsible for my reaction and ultimately the outcome. This is known as having an internal locus of control.
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Alternatively, someone who thinks they have little effect on the events in their lives has an external locus of control. They believe what happens to them is often out of their hands.

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For example, say I’m late to work because of traffic. With an internal locus of control, I am responsible because I could have left earlier. An external locus of control would blame the traffic that was unusually heavy.
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This can similarly be applied to positive events. A fortuitous job offering from an internal locus of control can be seen as putting yourself out there on job interviews and applications enough, whereas an external locus of control can just be seen as “luck.”

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While it may just seem like semantics, there is a lot of research done about the impact of having an internal locus of control. People who believe they have more control over the events in their lives tend to have more satisfaction in their careers, better physical and mental health outcomes, and show greater resilience and less stress. Which makes sense, right? If you think you can’t control what happens, why would you try?
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Notice the way you speak to yourself, and you will have a better idea about your locus of control. Are you constantly thinking about how bad things happen to you? Or are you thinking about what you can do differently next time in a similar situation? Do you cross your fingers and hope for the best when a challenge arises? Or do you work your butt off knowing you can impact the outcome?
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As always, it’s not strictly black and white. We probably all tend towards one end of the spectrum or the other, but have situations where we deviate. In order to improve, practice accepting responsibility for everything that happens to you (more on that in Extreme Ownership by Jocko Williams). Implement a growth mindset, seeing failures as an opportunity for growth. And brainstorm solutions that you are capable of executing to build momentum.
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Going into this decade, I am so excited for all of the opportunities that are already presenting themselves, and can’t wait to see what I am capable of. Let me know where you have a strong internal locus of control and where you need to practice reeling it in.

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If you found some value in this, please share it with a friend you think would enjoy it! And let me know if you’d like to be added to get TGIM.​
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This week, my podcast recommendation is new from 10% Happier with Dan Harris, “The Science of Manifestation: Can This Stanford Neuroscientist Convince A Skeptical Dan to Give It A Shot? With Dr. James R. Doty.”

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With that, make it a wonderful week!
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Until next time,

Shannon