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Welcome back to Thank God It’s Monday!
tl;dr Everyone wants balance, but no one wants to work hard. Balance sounds blissful, but bliss is not without knowing challenge and discipline (I don’t make the rules). To have balance in the areas that matter (to you) requires sacrifice and systems. We’ll clarify how to know what areas demand more structure to allow others to have more “balance.”
Balance has been a hot topic in the personal development space for a while. People love talking about balance when they’re out to eat, enjoying food and drinks that aren’t typically part of their routine. Or when people spend a day on the couch watching TV because it’s been so hectic, they slap balance on it and feel justified. (I am part of said people)
Yesterday, football started at 9 am with the NFL’s first-ever game in Dublin, Ireland! So we sat on the couch to start the day off strong. I did get up for a yoga class and get some cardio in; otherwise, it was primarily spent watching football and catching up on some little computer to-dos.
I called this a day for balance. But what makes it balanced? Balance can be partially attributed to the fact that I still moved, hit my step goal, and ate according to my goals. But what really makes this day balanced is the hard work that went into the rest of the week. The week leading up to Sunday entailed working overnights at the hospital, making progress on my course, and reaching my movement goals. Balance lies in the hard work that went into making yesterday a wonderful day on the couch.
This definition gets lost in the picturesque “balance” that people talk about online. Pictures of lavish, calorie-dense meals online and workouts where people are barely breaking a sweat lead to misconceptions. We cannot have these delicious meals and easy movement days without having the structure in the rest of our lives to allow for that.
In 2023, I wrote two other TGIM editions about balance (you can check out here https://walshwellness.weebly.com/tgim/balancing-act; https://walshwellness.weebly.com/tgim/balancing-act-part-ii), where I bring up two aspects of balance that I think are worth reiterating.
- Balance is not a stagnant state; it is a constant act
- Balance requires being able to hold multiple truths at once
When balance is put on this pedestal of an ideal destination to reach, the nuance of the word gets lost. For balance is not a static condition; it’s a constant toggle back and forth. I likened it to a tightrope walker who constantly shifts to remain balanced, even when it’s not evident to the human eye. His muscles are continuously tensing and relaxing, fighting against gravity to stay atop the narrow walkway.
Similarly, when we strive for balance, it is a constant state of push and pull from all directions. For example, a balance between home and work life might be spending more time with loved ones and less time in the office. That is, until a deadline approaches, and then balance means late nights working and fewer hours with your significant other. These are “balanced” by giving and taking, depending on the situation and what life demands at that time. You can’t 100% be devoted to work and still have a healthy relationship. But you also can’t be 100% dedicated to your partner and still progress at work. You adjust to the situation.
Being able to pivot between responsibilities also demands that you hold multiple truths at once. You can be a successful businessman or woman and also be a loving husband or wife. The role you fulfill may vary in intensity temporarily, but that doesn’t take away from those baseline truths.
Holding multiple truths at once, I compared to being a dog person but knowing that other people feel as strongly about cats as the superior household pet. It is true to me that dogs are the best, but it is simultaneously true that cats can be the best (to others).
This balance of accepting multiple truths is much more practiced in Eastern cultures. In our Western culture, people are very protective of individualism. As seen in our current society, opinions become very divisive to the point where it’s hard to have a conversation with others. Being balanced demands that we can accept multiple truths. Where in your life are you able to accept multiple truths? Where do you struggle with it?
For example, being “healthy” (to me) requires taking care of your body with quality sleep, exercise, and eating, while being able to enjoy life. I love eating out at a restaurant with friends, and I also love the days when I only eat my meal prep. I love the occasional drink at a fun tiki bar, and I also love going long stretches without drinking at all, and getting better quality sleep and workouts as a result.
Drinks at tiki bars and eating out at delicious restaurants can be healthy because humans NEED social interaction. Does social interaction demand a surplus of calories or alcohol? Not necessarily. But in moderation, if it’s something you enjoy, it contributes to the overall picture of health.
But to consider this “balanced,” you need to have weight on the other side of the scale (picture one of those old scales with a plate on either side requiring equal mass on both sides). The other side of the scale means exercising regularly, getting good quality sleep, and eating nutrients and protein most days. This creates the leverage to balance the scale.
That picturesque idea of balance requires a lot of hard work. Eating ice cream every day is not balanced; it’s gluttony. Drinking alcohol every day is not balanced; it’s detrimental to our health. Working out for two hours every day is not balanced; it’s overkill. Remember, there are always two sides of the scale that need equal weight.
The scale is never permanently balanced. It requires a constant push and pull, giving a little more when you can manage and taking when needed. You need to accept both truths, ie, that a healthy person eats well but can also enjoy treats in moderation. So don’t strive for balance (static), strive to continue balancing (dynamic).
If you found some value in this, please share it with a friend you think would enjoy it! And let me know if you’d like to be added to get TGIM.
This week, my podcast recommendation is new from The Ed Mylett Show, “How to Find Happiness When You’re Pulled In Every Direction!”
With that, let me know what you are working on balancing this week.
Until next time,
Shannon
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