TGIM: Overcoming the Overwhelm

Welcome back to Thank God It’s Monday! Happy Veteran’s Day to all those who have served, thank you for your service!

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tl;dr The cure for overwhelm is action, not distraction. Instead of seeking a quick dopamine spike (via opening social media, drinking, smoking, buying something, etc), take a small step towards addressing the source of your anxiety. Find the smallest or weakest barrier to resistance and take action.

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As I am sure you all have experienced, the blissful state of vacation came to a halting end on the plane ride home. The feeling of overwhelm started to creep in with the re-entry into the world full of responsibilities and deadlines.

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I will pretext this that I am extremely fortunate to enjoy my jobs and the work itself isn’t what deters me. But end of semester deadlines, big changes with my jobs, and holiday to-do’s all start piling on. The warmth of the Portuguese sun and the joy of an afternoon Pastel de nata are soon forgotten.

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You have all been there when work deadlines, appointments for family members, holiday shopping, and keeping up with laundry seem to topple the scale you were delicately balancing over. Your mind starts chugging furiously like a runaway train and you can’t seem to real it back in. Physically you may feel your heart racing, maybe even short of breath, and some degree of paralysis either in your mind or in your body. To put it succinctly, it stinks.

Most of us have developed a reflex to deal with this kind of discomfort such as opening up social media apps or going to the kitchen cabinet to grab a sweet treat. Maybe you resort to a drink after work or smoking to find your reprieve. You may even do some online shopping or play a NYT game on your phone. It’s a quick fix to make you feel good, because let’s face it, we don’t want to sit in that crummy feeling.

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However, after we scroll on social media or eat the sweet treat, we have not addressed the primary issue at all and wind up feeling the same, or even worse. Now we’re back to square one.

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I don’t have a quick fix to address all of our overwhelm and anxiety (if I did I’d be filthy rich, and maybe even more importantly, never faced with overwhelm and anxiety). But here are some considerations the next time you’re feeling like this.
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First is to try and address the lowest hanging fruit which moves you towards your goals. The only way to improve the overwhelm is to address it. Often we have so much to do and may not know where to start or what to do first. But when it all just feels like too much, pick the simplest, least difficult task that will move you forward. No matter how small, it puts the flywheel in motion, and usually the progress from stagnation to motion is enough to keep you going.
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This can look like just getting yourself outside with your walking shoes on. When you’re overwhelmed with how to start exercising and worried about the perfect workout plan or the perfect meal plan or how you’ll every lose 20 lbs, start by just putting your sneakers on and going outside. It seems banal and maybe even fruitless but that’s the point! You want something so mind-numbingly simple that you know you can do it. Because more than likely, once you get outside with those sneakers on, you’ll probably be up for walking or running when that initially seemed like an insurmountable feat.

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Another equally important factor is addressing those dopamine distractions you typically opt for.

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During PA school I stopped using social media during the week. Initially I did this because PA school was chalk full of overwhelm and my reaction would be to click on social media. So I made a rule for myself that I could only scroll on social media over the weekends to prevent the “avoidant behavior” and now four years later I still use this rule. It was so hard to break this habit, and I’m still not perfect by any means, but it did help me check myself before opting for an easy distraction. This has been a tremendous help for my concentration, mood, and impulse control that I plan on keeping, maybe even building on, forever.

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What do you typically tend to do when you’re feeling overwhelmed? If you head right to the kitchen, you should similarly shape your environment to limit the behaviors that don’t align with your goals. Take cookies and candy off the counters and put fruits and whole foods within reach instead. Again, it won’t bulletproof your urge but it may give you an extra minute to process your decision before acting out of distraction.

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Building rules and an environment for yourself may sound overly restrictive, but it gives you the bandwidth to address what the issue at hand is. Instead of delaying the inevitable and making your overwhelm worse, it will help you learn to tackle the stress more directly. This will build your confidence in your ability to do so and your willingness to take action in the future.

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Lastly, it’s also okay to let yourself feel that overwhelm. This sounds silly because of course we’re going to feel it, but our instinct is to run away from it as fast as humanly possible. Remind yourself that you will be okay. Remind yourself you’ve been here before and you have survived. Remind yourself that as soon as you start to take action, a weight will begin lifting from your shoulders.

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If you found some value in this, please share it with a friend you think would enjoy it! And let me know if you’d like to be added to get TGIM.

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This week, my podcast recommendation is from Paul Levitin’s Change Made Easy, “These 3 Common Behaviors are Major Personal Growth Red Flags.”
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With that, we can do this! It feels like there’s a lot of overwhelm in the world right now so just come back to these tactics to help if you’re feeling this way. And maybe this trite nugget of wisdom, the Serenity Prayer, would be helpful to end with (feel free to dedicate it to whatever high power, tarot cards, or subatomic particles you believe in): God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”
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Until next time,

Shannon
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P.S.

1. I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old.
2. I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape having ill health.
3. I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death.
4. All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them.
5. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand.