TGIM: Poison & Potions

Welcome back to Thank God It’s Monday!
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tl;dr The primary causes of suffering are boiled down to three root issues in Buddhism known as the three poisons: greed, anger, and ignorance. When you’re feeling annoyed or unfulfilled, consider which of the three poisons is impacting your perspective of the world. Practicing contentment, compassion, and curiosity will help bring more internal peace and happiness.
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The three poisons are a helpful way to break down the main culprits of discontenment. Whether it’s getting annoyed while you’re stuck in traffic, frustrated during this election season, or itching to grab your phone every time you have a second of downtime, they all come back to these three poisons.
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Greed (Lobha) is the desire or craving for possessions, pleasures, and attachments. It is tied to the (subconsious?) belief that external things can bring fulfillment. It can present as the sensation to buy the newest edition, a constant use of social media, and drinking at night to “relax.” Greed doesn’t necessarily have to look like the cartoon version of the seven deadly sins that may come to mind. It disguises itself in the desire to escape any current discomfort for pleasure.
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Pain and pleasure are two sides of the same scale. We live in a society that has sources of pleasure everywhere we look. Tasty food, physical goods, alcohol, social media, online shopping, quick delivery, and any other quick shot of dopamine you can conjure up. We are programmed to seek pleasure instead of pain (obviously). But greed is the inability to be content with the present and constantly be seeking pleasure in whatever form of escape that might be.

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Anger (Dosa) is the second poison, which arises from rejection toward experiences we don’t like. It may occur when our expectations differ from reality clouding our minds and causing suffering for both oneself and others. Anger may range from screaming and yelling to silent discontentment and a “spiraling” of thoughts.

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We’re human. We have reflexive, animalistic emotions which may present as anger. Evolutionarily, we see how mothers protect their cubs or predators defend their food source. But since most of us are not in life or death situations to get angry about, it’s often an exaggerated reaction to when our expectations do not align with reality.
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The last poison is ignorance (Moha). This is a lack of understanding about the true nature of reality. Each of our experiences in life is only our perspective colored by our past, our knowledge, and our desires. Everyone’s “reality” is slightly different, and together makes up the objective reality.

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Consider the “reality” that these news anchors preach. While walking on the treadmill the other day at the gym, Fox and CNN were being broadcasted on two adjacent TVs. They both have the same “breaking news” and yet the same exact story sounds completely different because of the “reality” they and their viewers see. Yet the truth lies somewhere in the middle. That’s usually the nature of the truth. It lies somewhere in the nuance of the stories told.

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Think about the last time something made you angry or upset. What was it? A coworker that made you frustrated? A commute that left you sitting in hours of traffic? Which poison could you attribute it to?
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So what is the antidote to these poisons?

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If greed is the poison that seems to be the primary source of your dissatisfaction, practice contentment and mindfulness of desire. If you find yourself online shopping for new clothes and technology, consider what you are trying to accomplish with each purchase. Is it helping you feel fulfilled long term? Or does it only last until you open the package? Consider engaging in something that leaves you feeling satisfied longer before you buy. This can cultivate contentment with what you have instead of constantly looking for the next best thing (because spoiler, it’s not).

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Maybe your greed is in seeking pleasure, possibly in social media, alcohol, or TV. Consider what it is you are trying to constantly escape? Look for what there is in your life there is to be grateful for when you’re engaged with reality. There is so much to be grateful for.

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If anger seems to be at the root of your discontentment, work on your compassion and forgiveness. I am by no means preaching from a place of expertise. Every night shift I commute to the hospital I sit in at least an hour and a half of traffic on the Belt Parkway. Some days are better, most are worse. But it is draining always getting worked up about traffic. So I try to practice compassion by understanding the demand on everyone commuting to and from work and that everyone probably feels a similar frustration. I also try to forgive myself when I do find myself getting angry because that prevents the spiral of getting angry at the world and then getting angry with myself. Practice compassion and forgiveness, towards yourself and others.
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Lastly, if ignorance is your vice, it may be the hardest one to recognize and be introspective about. We don’t know what we don’t know and sometimes that blind spot cna be at the root of our frustration. It won’t be as obvious when our lack of knowledge causes this frustration. So a good way to challenge this is examining our beliefs and perceptions. What we accept as truth may be truth only in our own eyes, but not to others. Learning to second guess what we accept as fact can help give us insight into others’ reality and bring us wisdom we may not otherwise encounter.

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When you get upset at some point tomorrow, consider which of these poisons is at the root of it. Is it greed, anger, or ignorance? And can you practice contentment, compassion, or curiosity to help deal with with that poison?
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If you found some value in this, please share it with a friend you think would enjoy it! And let me know if you’d like to be added to get TGIM.

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This week, my podcast recommendation is from 10% Happier with Dan Harris, “The Surprising Upsides of Self-Deception with Shankar Vedantam.”

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With that, let me know what you notice with some introspection. Reading TGIM only helps if you apply what you read to your own life. Have a happy Halloween and be safe!

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Until next time,

Shannon

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P.S.

1. I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old.
2. I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape having ill health.
3. I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death.
4. All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them.
5. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand.