TGIM: The Urge to Grow

Welcome back to Thank God It’s Monday!

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​tl;dr There is an inherent discomfort of the human condition. It is a gnawing state of dissatisfaction that can only be alleviated with growth. The tendency is to numb this feeling (by eating, shopping, scrolling, traveling), but until you learn to face this in yourself, you will not feel truly satisfied.

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As humans, we naturally tend toward wanting to grow, like a flower gently leaning towards the sunlit window. It presents itself as a lingering thought to get the to-do list done or that insatiable feeling to start a new workout routine and eat healthier. It may even arise as frustration when you’re feeling stuck in a job or slipping into old habits that no longer serve you.
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We are made to grow throughout our lives, as inherently as we are made to sleep, eat, and hydrate. When we’re babies it’s more evident, learning to crawl and walk, talk, and interact with society. Then as we get older, society is less structured toward helping us grow, but that doesn’t take that inert urge away.

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You probably have tended towards growth in at least one area of your life, something that brings you joy. Maybe that’s physically, spending a lot of time at the gym working to change how your body looks and feels. Maybe that’s mentally, continuing to learn and develop your skills. Or it could be spiritually, deepening your relationships with yourself and others.

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What area in your life do you naturally tend towards growth?

This doesn’t mean you’re not meant to grow in the other areas that do not at first spark joy. Quite the opposite in fact. These are the areas that require you to dig deeper and will bring you deep satisfaction when you put the work in.

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For example, if you consistently work out and work on growing your body to be as strong, mobile, and healthy as it can be, maybe you tend to neglect your relationship with yourself. This kind of spiritual growth (if you will) is more challenging for you. But you may notice gentle nudges towards wanting to grow. If you have negative self-talk, you may be easily frustrated with yourself. Or maybe you feel sad when you have negative thoughts about your body because you haven’t learned to work on this relationship with yourself.
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However, as a human, you naturally want to grow and do better in all of these areas. Just like you put in the work to go to the gym, you can put in the work to be kinder to yourself and listen to yourself more often. And just as you feel amazing after a good workout, you can feel that amazing by developing a better relationship with yourself, feeling empowered by your own body and mind.

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We have a natural desire to want to do better in all of these areas. Your areas of strengths and weakness may vary, but use what you’re good at to reflect on the areas that aren’t so strong. If you are good at being kind to yourself and others, maybe you need that mindset to work on pushing yourself physically more. You know the joy it brings to do a selfless act of kindness for others, you can harness that feeling by exercising and improving yourself physically.

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But as I said, society is not built to help us grow if we do not put the work in. Distractions make it easy for us to ignore that inner voice that urges us to do something. Online shopping, scrolling on social media, snacking, drinking, and anything that gives you a quick hit of dopamine is just a distraction. Think about every time you have even 10 seconds (at a red light) or 10 minutes of downtime (sitting at home). Do you reach for your phone? Do you look for a snack? Do you shop for something online? Or do you just sit there with your thoughts?
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These quick fixes are all a source of dopamine so we don’t have to feel that nudging feeling to grow. They are distractions from that inner voice that we never make time to sit with because it’s uncomfortable. Society is built to keep us distracted, but we are built to grow.

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I implore you to spend more time sitting there uncomfortable. Don’t pick up your phone immediately when you have a free second. Don’t get up to get a snack or turn on Netflix if you’re sitting on your couch. Don’t open a tab to do online shopping when you’re doing work on your computer. Let yourself sit there in that discomfort because I promise it is a quiet voice urging you to grow you will hear if you let it talk.

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Notice where you’re feeling that sense of discomfort. Is it your physical body that you wish you took better care of? Or maybe it’s your dialogue with yourself. Maybe you haven’t learned something new in a long time and your brain is begging you for a challenge.

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That voice is there if only you let it be heard. Stop reaching for quick dopamine fixes when there is a much deeper joy and satisfaction if you give yourself the space to grow.

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If you found some value in this, please share it with a friend you think would enjoy it! And let me know if you’d like to be added to get TGIM.
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This week, my podcast recommendation is from The Ed Mylett Show, “If You Are Ready to Pursue Your Dream, Watch This!”
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With that, happy Monday everyone, how lucky are we to have another week ahead?
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Until next time,

Shannon